Archive for November, 2008

Chuck Norris Jokes

November 21, 2008

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris funds at LIBOR flat
Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted
Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.
Chuck Norris doesnt hedge… he waits
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris lets live…
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mark to market.  The market marks to Chuck Norris.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain…
Chuck Norris is ” The best a man can get ”
** “CHUCK NORRIS TO INSURE U.S. TREASURY”                  ** “U.S. TREASURY TO INSURE CHUCK NORRIS”
The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.
Chuck Norris’s subprime CDO is par bid.
Contrary to popular belief, the US is not a democracy it is a Chucktatorship…
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris makes locked market on all CMBS
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.  Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris make onions cry
Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris can believe its not butter